Sloppy Seconds

What is happening to the women in the world where friendships become sloppy seconds to "romantic" (I use the word loosely) relationships?  I know I have been guilty of it, and in the past I have been, in what seemed at the time, tragically a victim.  Sometimes it happens, but it seems we have an epidemic on our hands.  I am speaking hypothetically at the moment (honest), but why the hell should my/our friendship be misused and neglected in exchange for a good fuck or some dude (or chick) that treats you like crap (or doesn't really treat you like anything)?  Bullshit. 

The kicker is, if you read this, most people could think this is about them (I know I would be a little worried), and this is sad.  This theme comes out in conversations with people I love, in songs, on tv, in the movies, in counseling sessions, ect, ect, etc.  What has happened to our sense of self worth, personal dignity, and loyalty to those we truly do love (and that love us) that allows us to be such insecure, insensitive, and neurotic souls?  

It often seems we always want more in life.  I am guilty of this.  I have a lot of friends, I am getting a bad ass degree, I have free counseling services AND a free gym membership, and, at the current moment, I am healthy.  I have amazing mentors and a pretty rad family.  But sometimes a girl just wants someone to snuggle, open doors for her, and make dinner.  That said, I hope the Amanda I know now wouldn't ditch friends for someone who treats her like less than.  I also hope I have enough self esteem to not be a booty call (unless I want to be...even when sober), call people who quite obviously don't want to be called/texted, or allow someone to make me feel like shit for the sake of simply warding off loneliness.  I know, these may seem difficult things to ask of a single person...how f'ed up is that? 

And then as friends, we put up with this crap!  I can only take being put on the back burner and stepped on so many times before I start to get what our friendship is about.  I don't think people mean to do this, I know in the past I haven't, but yet it happens, and that is craptastic.  Again, what has happened to us and our sense of self worth (and other worth)? 

I view the world as wholly relational; meaning our relationships make up our world, our personhood, and our being.  I get where the need for having an "other" would make people a little neurotic.  I am as guilty as the next person of facebook stalking, pining for old relationships, staying in relationships too long, doing stupid things to escape loneliness (temperarilly), and being irrational about past loves/flings/crushes/obsessions, etc. moving on with thier lives.  However, risking the quality relationships we have for the sake of people that can't even commit to call back or treat us like a human being is asinine.

Thank goodness for those people who have friendship figured out, and heaven help those who continue to f it up.  Good luck with that.