i am an adult

So...i have been realizing this as of late. I am an adult. Shit. When did that happen? While I wasn't paying attention it seems. I have that horrible thing called facebook. I do a pretty good job of keeping those I wouldn't choose to spend time with off of it (there are a few exceptions, and it isn't that I wouldn't hang out with those people I don’t “know” on my facebook but we just never have, so that may make it awkward--ie: weird guy from high school that I gave a ride home to once 10 years ago but seemed pretty cool, just socially awkward---which it seems may be some of my favorite type of people). Anyhow, this has been a trigger to my realizing, in fact, I am getting older. Facebook lets you look at peoples photos and, as much as you can on the interweb, into their lives (as they want you to see it). I am just as guilty as the next for putting things on there that I should not share with the greater public, or, really, for that matter, my friends and family (who were not there for the boob joke that the picture inaccurately portrays). Anyhow, in looking at the pictures I realize we are all becoming adults. I am using the "we" so I don't single anyone out. Our metabolism is not as rad as it once was, we have babies, sometimes lots of them, we are married and divorced, and for some married again, we are perpetually single, we are chain smokers, we are successful, we are miserable, we are trying to still be in high school or college, we have moved away and come back and are planning on leaving again, we talk about "this place" like it is a plague and some of us have realized it may be the coolest place we have ever been. We are "hippies" turned corporate and rockers turned dads, or rockers that are still dads (which, in my mind, is pretty kick ass). We are all getting older. In some ways, I love it. I love that I can call my friend and we can commiserate about our “adult” day…about the crisis we both had at work, and successfully navigated as competent, knowing employees, when internally we were freaking out and hoping no one would call our bluff.

I bought a skate board at a yard sale. I am not sure what this means or why I mention it. It is something I have always wanted to learn to do but I don't know where, in fact, I am going to learn. Why am I embarrassed to "learn" to skateboard in public? It is way cooler than walking. Maybe I need to hire a 12 year old to teach me. I could cheat them out of 5 bucks and a DQ for their vast knowledge of all things skateboardy. They can laugh at my old ass trying to keep my balance on a small piece of wood with wheels.

I am moving to Idaho. Whoa. I am not sure if it has sunken in. I think maybe it has and I just realize that I am ready to go, so it isn't that much of a shock. It is going to be super sad. My love affair with Carbondale may be over soon. Or maybe I will come back to you, in a few years, when I have (another) epiphany of how great you actually are. If I am going to teach at SIU there are some things that need to change. I want my bosses job. She knows this. We have actually talked about it in a pretty honest way. She told me to get my PhD and come back (check and check). She will retire eventually. I could see myself coming back if it meant I get her job. I didn't run this morning. Instead I stayed up late last night and created a graduation invitation because I refuse to pay $83 for 25 invitations with the "official" SIU emblem. Besides, the invite I created says, “That's ‘master amanda’”. That is way cooler than any "official" SIU crap. Sidenote, thanks to Herff Jones and SIU's inability to have the appropriate stuff on the website, and telling me I had to pay $117 for my 25 invitations since they couldn't get their website to accurately portray what and where my ceremony would be. Yeah, thanks. I got to practice my "f you very much phone skills…twice"...then the woman told me she would pay HALF of the $60 "rush" fee I was going to have to pay to get them delivered in time to get them to my fam...by the way, $60 was more than the order I was going to make! Who wants to go to a graduation anyway? Really. I don't. Most of the time, you only care about one person, but you have to watch a bunch for people you could care less about walk through, wave, take pictures, blah, blah, blah. I was planning on leaving right after they said my name (rebel)…but I found out last night that my group is LAST. My mentor is going to be in Switzerland when I get my degree anyway—so I am not sure who is going to give me the fake “I am so glad for you” hug from the faculty. I mean, it won’t be fake, but they haven’t been invested really. It’s ok. I am not invested in them either. Ok, I got stuff to do. Also, I ate about a pound of chocolate while I wrote this. Thanks easter bunny (aka the catholic church).

a few things

a few things...I don't get people who post super personal stuff online. "Amanda is suddenly being thrust into the dating scene again." "Amanda should not have gotten shitfaced and made out with 8 men and 2 chicks when her husband wasn't in town." "Amanda is sad about the whole STI thing, but there is medicine she can take to clear it up." Haven't people seen those commercials with the girl who keeps trying to tear down the photo from the bulletin board but it keeps showing up to represent the internet!!! Obviously not. Or maybe it is our reality tv world that we live in. This world of bigger and better. Anything for the audiance. Where we are proud when we make asses of ourselves. But on the internet, it seems people feel as if they can share more info then they would becuase they have the "ananimity of the computer." I know I am guilty of it, but not the the extend of some. Myspace and Facebook stalking expose some crazy things.

Next issue. I think it is super funny when people wear beer shirts to the gym. I get it. They are the shirts they don't care about, but it still makes me laugh. "Milk is disgusting, drink beer" was the one I saw yesterday. Oh, there was also a dad running with his tween daughter who had a budwiser shirt on. Funny stuff. Also, it bugs me when people don't work out in their wedding bands to work out. Now, I should preface this by saying at times I am an irrational jealous person. I had a conversation this morning about how I could not be in a poligamist relationship due to my jealousy issues. Anyhow, I would get my spouse a cheep band to where when working out. I know what I think when I am at the rec and see a cute dude working out. I am sure others think that too. Anyhow, I have to get going. But this is what is on my minds. yep. Ok. Peace.